October 2011
1 post
Oct 5th
32,737 notes
September 2011
35 posts
Sep 27th
106 notes
Sep 26th
642 notes
Sep 26th
17,330 notes
Sep 26th
3 tags
Sep 25th
655 notes
Sep 25th
27,673 notes
Sep 17th
18,904 notes
Sep 17th
6 notes
2 tags
Sep 17th
67 notes
Sep 17th
62 notes
3 tags
Sep 17th
59,310 notes
Sep 17th
638 notes
Sep 17th
524 notes
5 tags
Sep 17th
34,240 notes
Sep 17th
5,928 notes
11 tags
Sep 17th
1,037 notes
2 tags
Porn for the Blind.  →
Sep 17th
206 notes
2 tags
Sep 17th
2,599 notes
1 tag
“You’ve made masturbation pointless”
– the most romantic thing my bf has ever said to me (via octopussoir-)
Sep 17th
98 notes
2 tags
Sep 17th
6,260 notes
Sep 17th
5,517 notes
Sep 17th
18,001 notes
Sep 17th
1,189 notes
Sep 17th
6,893 notes
4 tags
Sep 17th
761 notes
19 tags
Sep 17th
25,835 notes
2 tags
Sep 17th
1,378 notes
Sep 17th
1,961 notes
1 tag
Sep 17th
2,694 notes
Sep 17th
36,084 notes
Sep 17th
196,109 notes
Sep 17th
68 notes
Sep 17th
32,520 notes
Sep 16th
4,682 notes
9 tags
Sep 7th
28 notes
August 2011
58 posts
3 tags
Aug 27th
64,365 notes
2 tags
Aug 27th
49,292 notes
Aug 27th
115,578 notes
Aug 27th
3,865 notes
Aug 27th
49 notes
Aug 27th
67,245 notes
1 tag
Aug 27th
117,567 notes
1 tag
Aug 27th
3,775 notes
1 tag
all time low orders pizza.
pizza hut: hello how may i help you?
matt: i'd like to make an order for 12 large pizzas.
pizza hut: would that be delivery?
matt: yeah.
jack (in background): I'M FUCKIN' HUNGRY BITCH HURRY UP
matt: excuse me one moment... SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB BITCH DO YOU WANT YOUR PIZZA OR NOT... yeah sorry uh...
pizza hut: what would you like on your pizzas, sir...
matt: one cheese, three pepperoni...
alex (in background): NO ONE FUCKIN' LIKES PEPPERONI
matt: TOO BAD BITCH. sorry.
pizza hut: ...it's alright sir...
matt: four pizzas, right? so eight more....
pizza hut: yup that's correct.
matt: can i get two supreme -
vinny (in background): HELL YEAH LIKE MY DICK SO SUPREEEEEEEEEME
matt: ......
vinny (in background): WHERE MY BITCHES AT?
matt: NOT HERE. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
vinny (in background): PASS THE JAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
matt: i'm so sorry.... VINNY SHUT UP WE'LL GET YOU YOUR JAGER. anyways. six pizzas down. six more. uhh...let's get one veggie....
zack (in background): FUCK YEAH VEGETABLES
rian (in background): FUCK OFF BITCH
matt: um... uh.... four meat lovers...
jack (in background): EVERYONE LOVES MY MEAT
vinny (in background): MINE'S BETTAAAAAAAA, IT'S SUPREME!
matt: ...and a hawaiian....yes, a hawaiian.
alex (in background): EW NO THAT HAS NASTY FUCKIN' PINEAPPLES ON IT
matt: ...too bad. again, i am terribly sorry.... that's what you get when you have drunk men at 1 am with pizza cravings.
pizza hut: *awkward laugh* it's alright, sir. is that all for you? breadsticks? wings? soda?
matt: YES YES YES.
rian (in background): SENIORS 09 BITCH
matt: three orders of breadsticks, five orders of 44 peice wings... three blue ranch, two hot.
pizza hut: any drinks?
matt: six 2 liters of coke.
vinny (in background): WHAT ABOUT MY JAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BOIIIIIIII
matt: SHUT UP VINNY
pizza hut: is that all for you?
matt: yeah what's the total
jack (in background): 9 INCHESSSSSSSS OF MEAAAAAAAT!
pizza hut: that would be 295.33
matt: WHO'S GOT FUCKIN MONEY?! jack i know YOU do.
jack (in background): I MAKE IT RAIIIIIIIIIN
pizza hut: it'll be there in 45 minutes.
matt: really?
pizza hut: yes...have a nice day.
matt: god bless you, kind soul.
pizza hut: no...god bless YOU.
Aug 27th
18,223 notes
1 tag
Aug 27th
395 notes
1 tag
scratchrhythm: Necrophilia isn’t disgusting society is
Aug 27th
669 notes
1 tag
Aug 27th
83,544 notes
1 tag
Aug 26th
98 notes
Aug 26th
8,349 notes